Boarding School Pranks and Hilarity

Boarding School Pranks and Hilarity, a Saturn Herald Short Story by Penny Nair Price.

Ann and Amanda were best friends at their multicultural co-educational boarding school in the wilds of the Dorset countryside.  They got on well with the boys who were aware that the girls at the school thought of Ann and Amanda as top hotties who ruled.

Some of the teachers at the school were a tad dippy or very confrontational even though they had stayed teaching at the school for years because of the lovely buildings and setting which included a school farm complete with inviting haystack.  Many of the schoolchildren loved making dens by climbing to the top of the haystack, digging a few bales out, setting them aside, and diving into their brand new den.  Whether they smoked inside there is still a mystery as most of the schoolchildren DID enjoy the occasional cigarette.

Suddenly, an overnight sensation occurred.  Ann and Amanda started reading books on hypnotism.  Ann whose father was a psychiatrist had squirreled away one or two of his books on the subject after a leave weekend pursuant to inheriting a pocket watch from her late grandfather, and she and Amanda took up a brand new hobby – hypnosis.

As the children were allowed to roam the grounds after lessons and after changing into their own clothes,  Ann and Annabel got a group of friends together to go to the cricket pitch with one intention – to practise hypnotism!

First in line was Heather – who didn’t find that Ann swinging her grandfather’s pocket watch in front of her eyes and doing her “incantations” made any effect on her at all.  The group of girls was all sitting on a grass bank by the pitch and eyes were popping as Ann practiced her newfound “skill”.

Second in line was Marjorie who was told to sit comfortably and watch the pocket watch whilst not only going into a deep sleep to which she would wake up to after a count of five, four, three, two and one but she would also offer Mr. Harris a cigarette during the history lesson from her own packet of Number Six.  Ann was being naughty as she was envious of Marjorie, whose father was an Army Major and she knew Marjorie had an army uniform jacket in her musty locker which she sometimes used to wear after school changing times from uniform, complete with enviously beautifully coiffed thick reddish auburn tresses and high heeled platform boots as Marjorie was petite.

Ann and Amanda had told all the girls not to make one single squeak whilst Ann was doing the hypnosis.  The clock swung before her eyes and Marjorie was in a trance.  The girls sat around looking suffused with anticipation and delight.

“When you wake up you will remember that I am now telling you to offer Mr. Harris one of your Number Six cigarettes during the next history lesson just as though it’s completely normal. You will also be much more generous to all your friends at the school to show you really care about us.   So you understand, Marjorie?”  Marjorie replied, “Yes, I understand.”.  Ann then said “Five four three two one and wake up!”  Marjorie woke and looked around the excited faces.  “What happened?  I can’t remember anything right now!”  “Not much” choired the girls trying to hide their laughter.

The history lesson sooner or later arrived with a bevy of giggling girls (and some boys who were in on the “secret”) coming in to take their seats at the desks.  Mr. Harris with a swagger and a sway – due probably to his love of a good whiskey and dry, started the lesson.  This time it was on Henry the Eighth but the excitement was about whether Marjorie was going to offer him a cigarette from her packet of Number Six, not on Henry the Eighths’ wives.

Suddenly Mr. Harris said, “Marjorie, come up to the front of the class and write on the blackboard in order all the wives of Henry the Eighth.”  “Yes Sir” replied Marjorie, her cigs zipped away in her school uniform skirt pocket.

Marjorie had a problem – deep down she knew what Mr. Harris wanted at that moment was a good smoke.  She took the chalk and hesitated before writing down –  Catherine of Aragon, Anne Boleyn, Jane Seymour, Anne of Cleves, Catherine Howard, and Catherine Parr.  “Excellent,” said Mr. Harris.  “Anything you want to say Marjorie before you sit down?”  The hypnotism had worked.  Mary replied.  “Yes, one thing Mr. Harris.  Would you like a fag to smoke later?” She put her hand to her right zip pocket in her skirt and produced a pack of Ten Number Six, opened the top and pulled a cigarette out for him, and offered it.

Mr. Harris’s hand went towards the cigarette as he said “Oh, don’t mind if I do! Thanks.” Then he suddenly backed away and growled.  “Oh, dear.  I feel like I’m having a funny turn! Are you trying to make a joke of me Marjorie?  You nearly had me there – I can’t let you get away with this.  Give me the packet of your cigarettes – I’m confiscating them,  and after school today you must wear a uniform and stay in the East Wing of the school for the whole evening.”

Marjorie looked like she’d just snapped out of a tranquil and dreamy sleepy mode.   “My cigarettes? Oh, dear.  OK, Mr. Harris, here they are and I will wear a uniform this evening. Forgive me…”

“Now children, stop sniggering, and let’s go back to Henry the Eighth…Dick – which castle in Kent did Henry Eighth use to house some of his ex-wives?…….”

The lesson over, the girls including Ann and Amanda gathered around Marjorie giggling and asking her why she had offered a ciggy to Mr. Harris.  “I can’t work out why I did that.  Oh Yes! You hypnotized me – did I do it because of that?” They all just giggled in a gaggle but they were sure the hypnosis had worked and in a kind of way, it spooked them out a little!

The end of lessons came for another day and the girls went to change into mufti including Marjorie.  In Marjorie’s case, however, she took off her school blazer and put it in her locker, and keeping her school skirt and blouse on, took one of her father’s old army jackets which he had given her and put that on.  On her way down to the gating area, she laughed to herself at what Mr. Harris would say when he saw her.

She sat in a window alcove reading a school book and waited.  Before long, and with a few pupils around in their mufti, chatting together and deciding what to do with their evenings, Mr. Harris suddenly appeared. He saw Marjorie in the alcove and raised his eyebrows.

“Marjorie.   I thought I told you to wear a uniform after school lessons!   What have you got on?”

“I’ve got a uniform on Mr. Harris.  This jacket is an army jacket and it IS uniform!  You didn’t say SCHOOL uniform did you?”

Mr. Harris frowned for a second then a big broad smile came to his face and he started to laugh loudly and heartily.

“Ok, Marjorie.  You won that one – and you are usually the best-behaved member of the class.  You’ve really excelled in being very naughty today though.But don’t make a habit of it. I WOULD offer you your cigarettes back but that would put me in a dark place.  For heaven’s sake girl just carry on being the excellent pupil you usually are and I won’t say another word about your conduct today to either the Headmistress or the Headmaster.  Goodbye.”

From behind a pillar in the corridor, Ann and Amanda and a gaggle of other pupils in mufti were waiting for Mr. Harris to walk away.  Then they sprung out whooping and laughing in sheer delight!

“You lot are weird,” said Marjorie.  “Anything for a funny half-hour with teachers!”

Marjorie then shrugged her shoulders and declared, “I’m still the teachers’ pet anyway.  You heard Mr. Harris and his way with me.  But I tell you what – I will NEVER let you hypnotize me again….it’s too spooky!”

Time would tell if Ann and Amanda did any more “wizardry” from the textbooks.  Who would know if it was hypnotism or not anyway?