THE KNICKER BOCKER STORY

A short story by Penny Nair Price

Anastasia was a blonde; a vampish young bimboesque girl with curves in all the right places. Henry smoked the largest fat Cuban cigars and possessing a sizeable paunch, partially concealed by divinely expensive pressed shirts, and  hugely exotic silk ties which were housed when not worn  in  a walk in wardrobe – all his handmade suits and other fashion accessories were carefully tended by his housemaid.

Ana and Harry met online on the “Sugardaddy” site and dated firstly in a high flying restaurant in The Shard, and then on weekends away at exclusive hotels where they were chauffeured there by Harry’s top driver, Fabio. That’s when they weren’t taking in London’s top musicals in the best seats and dining out no expense spared.

Soon after, there were wedding bells and Ana became a “lady” of leisure but there were one or two things missing from her life – like healthy rampant love moments for example.

When Harry came home he would pour a large Bourbon into a cut glass tumbler after supper served by the staff and relax in front of the flaming fake fire.  Ana, finding her days out shopping and coffeeing with the girls a bit boring and wanting something to stroke and cuddle asked Henry if she could have a dog.  He replied “You know the score Ana. I would do anything to make you happy just as long as you keep the marriage vow sacred as we agreed as there’s one thing a man can’t stand and that’s being made to feel second best – in other words love the dogs but love me more and like we agreed no cheating – strictly no cheating on me.  Now come over to me – lets have a cuddle and an early night.” He put his chubby arm around her shoulders as she snuggled up to him on the couch, gave her a big wet kiss and groped her a couple of times in soft places whilst breathing ever more deeply. Ana buried her misery in a large Gin and Tonic before diving under the covers where Harry was already snoring heavily. Ana nudged him and said “Harry please let me get a pet” right into his hairy ear and he coughed, turned over and got her in a crushing bear hug and replied,  “Of course twinkletoes my one and only, of course”. Ana knew she had Harry eating out of her hand.

A week later Fabio drove Harry and Ana one Sunday morning  to a luxury mansion 20 miles away and they together picked out the two cutest Pomeranian puppies – one snow white, one bright ginger and brought them back to their own mansion. Punch and Judy soon made themselves at home and adored Ana and were equally adored in return.  For a few weeks the tactile nature of these cuddlies kept Ana happy  but she pined like so many young attractive women for something more – more than Henry could ever give her….

How Ana managed to find a love interest and hide him from the staff is complicated but when one of her friend’s brothers joined them for a cafe frappe latte cappuccino mocca chocca cuppa and slipped his number right down her cleavage whilst his sister and friend were in the rest room telling her to call from a safe line, she later sneaked him into the bedroom at her house saying he was doing some repairs to the wardrobe and they jumped under the covers to find they were undeniably very well suited and there was perspiration, a shedding of exasperation and frankly madly unadulterated passion.

Punch and Judy jumped out of their satin lined baskets when they heard Ana and Julio and frisked around the bedroom with little yelps of excitement . “Shhhh” drawled Ana as she pulled the sheets up  around her and then suddenly she heard the familiar sound of a car on the gravel and gasped “Julio – Harry is back – quick – get dressed”.

Just as Harry’s voice rang round the hallway from downstairs calling Ana,  Julio had finally dressed but whispered as he sneaked out of the bedroom to take the back route out of the house, “I can’t find my boxers!” “Oh God! Don’t worry – I’ll find them later!” gasped Ana in lowered and dulcet tones.

“How is Punch and Judy and how is my favourite person in the whole wide world?” ventured Henry and he produced a bagfull of Christmas decorations announcing, “The tree is being delivered tomorrow darling.  There will just be you and me for the festivities and we are going to have a wonderful time.  By the way I am on a diet now ‘til Christmas day so it’s merely a lettuce leaf for me tonight. Come here for a huge great sugar daddy hug.”  Ana tried to hide her repulsion as he locked her in an embrace.

Over supper Henry announced  “Punch and Judy have made us into a family but they seem to like me best when I am in the house sweetheart.  Guess they know I’m paying their pets’ fees.” As he spoke Punch and Judy ran up to him and rubbed themselves around his ankles.  “ These little beauties adore me – what a wonderful idea it was to get them. I’m so happy”.  Then moving to rest on the sofa and lighting a Cuban cigar, he continued…”Darling I am so happy at your fidelity to me.  Maybe you could give me a baby sometime soon.  Then we REALLY would be a family.  I knew when we met you would be expensive but you have brought trust and treasures into my everyday life. If you are ever EVER unfaithful to me though we shall have to part”.

“Why would I ever do that Henry?  A man like you is a rare commodity.  I am so happy with you and Christmas will be fabulous  fun”.

“If you’re lying to me by hook or by crook I WILL know!” replied Henry “and where’s my pooches? Punch, Judy……”

Just then the two Pomeranians came rushing through the door holding between them something that looked like a very big rag in their teeth.  They were pulling the “rag” this way and that whilst both holding onto it very ferociously.

“Drop it!” demanded Henry.  “Drop it now!”

Punch and Judy released the “rag” and Henry picked it up and examined it.  It was the remains of a pair of very fine men’s boxers and Henry sniffed them and said “these aren’t fresh and they certainly arnt mine!” and his face turned to a menacing scowl as he turned to see Ana cup both hands to her mouth in terrified submission to his gaze.  Ana had given the game away by reacting to Henry’s fury.

“That’s it!  You can stay in the house on your own ‘til after Christmas then you’re out on your butt.  I don’t care who he is, he won’t come near this house again.  I will get my gamekeeper to watch the gates and hedges.  Fabio! Get the car.  I’m going to pack my bag.  Take me to the airport”

Ana tried to conceal her sobs as Henry stormed up the stairs tearing at what was left of his hair.

If she hadn’t been so greedy and got Henry to buy her the dogs they would not have run off with Julio’s shorts and maybe hidden them under the bed to pull out for their master.  Now her plans of being rich and comfortable were in ruins. So much for those feisty Pomeranians.  They were so cute but so clever.  Ana’s lesson was learned.  She needed to dig her own gold…she turned her thoughts back to writing a bonkbuster and with Punch and Judy’s real life behaviour she had the makings of her first best story plot.  Every cloud has a silver lining!!

Story Ends.